OCR Text: Crib Concerts David Blaquire, page 1 My Own Little Sanctuary Janine Landowski, page 2 Volume 11, Number 1 voicesIIIII:eshman What We Learn From Squirrels Andy Layman,page 3 The ER Experiment David Tillman, page 4 The Triumph of Perception Tina Wood,page 5 Tickets Please Peter G. Wolf, page 5 Daddy's Mirror Karen D. Billings, page 7 Do You Wazoo? Margaret Blajian, page 9 A Lesson in the Wind Nathanael Schuman,page 9 Academic Independence Derek Nankivil, page 10 Hot Heads Karen Bruner Upright, page 12 The Inconveniences of Cellular Phones Alicia Magazu,page 13 I See the Signs & Hourglass Sarah Katie Farrow, page /5 The Lady in Room 206 Christy Thomas,page 15 Editor: Suzanne Hess FLORIDA COMMUNITY COLLEGE AT JACKSONVILLE Crib Concerts by David Blaquire The morning sun was still in China when the bellow of our ten-pound bundle of joy pierced the walls of the bed- room and found way to the conscious part of my sleep. The anxiety was as immediate as the light entering my opening eyes. I was quite positive my wife, mother ofthe child, would fulfill her motherly duties and tend to the unrelenting request ofthe restless wonder.It wasn't until after about thirty distressed minutes of quiet debate did I realize that it was my turn in the rotation of parenting duties. While anatomically inferior to physically sooth the beast,I relied on the time test- ed remedy ofsinging the nursery rhyme"Hush Little Baby." This particular sleep depraved night,during the third eloquent rendition of"Hush Little Baby,"I realized a stunning thought.The words ofthe song were asking an illiterate infant to"not say a word."The logic of this was a bit puzzling; how- ever, more perplexing was the fact that I was trying to bribe a little baby.Buying giftsto reform ascreaming banshee to docil- ity causes a moral dilemma, not to mention that any of the gifts associated with the song would obviously have some type oflife altering ramifications. For instance,buying asinging mocking bird would be a noisy proposition, only compounding any efforts of getting the child tosleep.Ifthe bird didn't work,then I would haVe to buy a diamond ring.Thechancesofthe ring becoming a chok- ing hazard are very high,and HRS would throw me in jail for child endangerment.When the ring didn't work,I would have to purchase a looking glass. This would be thrown to the ground shattering into a thousand pieces,thuscausing harm to my bare feet as I stumble into the restless infant's room. With the baby screaming,because his looking glass is broken,I now promise to buy him a Billie goat. While I may get the benefit of keeping the lawn groomed, the fleas and mites would be unhealthy for such a small susceptible being, there again prompting a visit from my friends at HRS.The list goes on to include carts and bulls,barking dogs and horses. I think to my , Z ArchiveInABox,JAX,Voices of Freshman Writing,Scans,Volume 11,Volume 11 1 Page 1, Volume 11 1 Page 1